This and That

 Friday, June 3, 2011

"Each of you  has received a gift to use to serve others. Be good servants of God's various gifts of grace."

              I Peter 4:10 (NCV-New Century Version)

Today we went to the market and to another game park. The market was fun and I got quite a bit of stuff for people, but  I want to get more Sunday and at the airport. We saw more zebras and animals today and we had a barbeque with a bunch of university students including the SIFE students. Then me, Chelsea, Zach, and one of my SIFE friends I met at the epilepsy garden went on a walk to find more zebras and monkeys. We didn't see any animals really, but we did manage to get a little lost, and had to let our SIFE friend help lead us back. I don't know if she was even sure where we were, because she would tell us a way to go, and we would follow it for a while. Then all four of us would look around like, "This is not right." Then she would lead us down a different path. We finally made it back. It was an adventure and we saw lots of beautiful views.

                    I am getting excited to go home and see my family and tell everyone my stories. I'm starting to miss everyone a lot. I'm glad we only have a couple more days here, but I'm a little sad at the same time because this has been such a fantastic trip.

Until Then,

Holly Peffer

These are pictures of all the traps found in the area where the gamepark was (Hlane and Mlilwane) between 1960 and 1970. The sign says there were more traps than wild animals in all of Swaziland at that time.

Compassion and Passion

June 3, 2011

Last night, during devotions, Joe brought up the topic of compassion. He was saying compassion in Greek means to be compelled to act from the bowels. He talked about how Jesus had this kind of compassion. Compassion is not just about feeling pity or sympathy or guilt towards the people here, or in any situation for that matter. It is, instead, not being able to think about anything else besides helping. It got me thinking about my own compassion. How compassionate am I actually? When I heard it described from the Greek word, I had to reevaluate myself. I think a lot of times I need to have more compassion. Most times I think I have sympathy or guilt, and not true compassion. Its easy, almost natural, to feel guilty or sympathetic when we see something unjust. But what about feeling compelled to move from our bowels? What if we burned with the need to act so much that it hurt, like a cramp? Joe was talking about when you have indigestion, or any kind of problems with the digestive system, how much it hurts. And how any time we are in pain like this, its hard to think about anything else. If I started having a desire to help others in such a way that I couldn't think of anything else, how much would that change those I come in contact with each day? What if we all had compassion like this--the kind of compassion Jesus had?

  Then Katie made a good point about finding the things we are passionate about. Finding things that drive us to be compassionate. She was saying its important to find our passion and find our areas to serve in. I liked that because I've been thinking recently about finding ways to serve in my community. I know I will not find joy and motivation unless it is my passion. I want to find ways to serve and glorify God and that I can take joy in and feel passion about. I think everyone has something different they feel passion about, and we should look for ways to serve God that go with these passions. I think that's why he put the passions inside of us. I, for instance, have no desire to poke a needle in someone's arm and take blood or examine their molecular structure. But some people are passionate about medicine. I hope they serve in this way. Others find joy in doing manual labor to help someone. Some find joy in giving financially, or otherwise. I find passion in working with children. What is your passion?

The first Nazarene Church in Swaziland and Game Park day!

Thursday, June 2, 2011 

*I wrote this in the comi as it was happening, so its a bit choppy.
 (comis are the vehicles we rode around in for our two weeks in Swaziland)

on top of rock Harmon S. meditated on

                                                                 

Endzingeni Nazarene Mission (where first Nazarene Church was started)

So we are sitting inside our comi behind a locked gate. We came up to the top of a hill to stand on the rock where Harmon Schmelzenbach, who founded the first Nazarene church in Swaziland used to come pray. The view was absolutely gorgeous. But when we came back to leave, the gate was locked, so we've been sitting here while we were trying to contact the owner so they could unlock it. We can't reach anyone, so we're trying option two. We just totally gunned it through this super tall prairie grass. Then we got stuck on a barbed wire fence. All the men got out to get us un-stuck and we just made it out of here, even if it wasn't the traditional way through the gate. Now Mongi our driver is looking at the front, and the tires to check the damages. He says we are good to go. That was quite an adventure. I'm not sure if its over yet...

                                                    

 

 ...okay so this whole day we thought after we got back from the first Naz church of Swaziland we were going to dig a ditch. But apparently they weren't ready for us yet. Our leaders didn't tell us that though, so we thought that's where we were off to. Instead, they surprised us and we went to a game park! It was awesome! We saw giraffes, zebras, warthogs, an ostrich, elephants, and rhinoceroses. It was super cool! We saw two giraffes up close and personal. They were so beautiful. I think they are my new favorite animal. I watched one for a while eating out of the tree tops. He never ran away from us. He just looked at us like, "Why are you watching me eat right now?" He was super laid back. He looked at us for a while with curiosity. It was definitely the highlight of my day. I just saw a giraffe eating and walking around in his natural habitat in Africa! 

My low point is right as I got up to him and could take a really good picture, I turned my camera on and it said, "change your battery pack". So I couldn't get any pictures of how close I was. I was super depressed about that.

Until Then, Holly

the wagon Hermon  Schmelzenbach rode to the top of the hill in to build the Nazarene church 

Breaking Through a Language Barrier

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Today we went back to the preschool and played with the littel kids again. We played a game similar to duck-duck-goose. The kids were having so much fun. I prayed this morning that God would help me love at least one child today, and show the love of Christ, even breaking through the language barrier. Yesterday was a challenge because up until this point we've been able to communicate pretty well with the Swazis because they can speak at least some English, or we can at least tell them that we don't speak siSwati. But with such little ones you can't explain that, and they don't really speak any English. It takes concentration and focus to really pay attention and read body language to see what they are wanting. Since I learned that yesterday, I was able to pray about it today and specifically ask God to help me show compassion and love to at least one child. I felt immediately like God answered my prayer because the little girl I stood in the circle beside for the games we were playing really clung to me. I squatted down and tried to help her learn the concept of the "Hokie Pokie". She stuck to me the rest of the day. I stayed with her most of the morning, just sitting with her. She pointed to my sunglasses and I let her try them on. She kept those most of the day, and something that simple made her really happy. I feel like I bonded to her and God really helped me through the language barrier.

Something about Swaziland, is the people here, especially the kids, take joy in the simplist things like sunglasses and silly bands. It blows me away.

After we finished at the preschool/fence-building, we went to Gi-Gis place which was started to give the children of Swaziland food to eat and a refuge. We helped serve food today, and walked around just talking to kids and passsing out stuff like stickers and silly bands and other little trinkets. It was so sad to see the kids there, thinking that they were there in order to get a meal, and just realizing it was probably their only meal. They all looked like they didn't have much at all. Its hard to look into sad eyes over and over again. Its like on the one hand, the people here are so filled with joy, and they are always singing and dancing and clapping. On the other, some of them always look so sad and won't ever crack a smile. It makes you wonder what has happened in such a small child's life to make them unable to smile. Sometimes the look in their eyes is like the life has been sucked out. Most of the kids aren't like that, but I have seen many who are, and it seems really hopeless. Anyway, it was good to be among the kids and see them light up when we put stickers on their hands or a silly band around their wrist.

When we first got there they were singing and chanting things they have learned like the seasons of the year and shapes, and days of the week. Then Brent went up with his guitar and we taught the kids some VBS songs. One of them was "This little light of mine." Brent was explaining the meaning of the song. He said we never want to blow out our light (the one we hold for Jesus). Then he was explaining the verse, "Don't let Satan blow it out." I was thinking about that phrase. As Christians, we are the light of the world, and we are called to let our lights shine to everyone around us. Satan doesn't want us to live our lives for God. He enters our lives in many ways and ,tries to snuff out our light. We let him take our light by the  negative attitudes we have, or giving into temptations we have and sinning. Anything that distracts us and keeps us from serving God is taking our light from us. Its up to us to pray and seek God and follow Him in order to defend ourselves from Satan who wishes to blow out our light.

After GiGi's Place, we came back to our guest house and discussed what we wanted to do for the youth service we were leading that night. We ended up singing a couple of praise and worship songs, and then four people, Andrew, Kelsie, Josh Lane, and Richard gave their testimonies. They all had really incredible stories about how God rescued them from very difficult situations and hardships. It was neat to see where God brought them all from, and what he's doing in their lives now. I got to help lead music with Claire and Josh.

The Canada team left Swaziland today to head to Derbin. We won't be seeing them anymore, sadly.

Until Then,
Holly Peffer

Inkindoze

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

"This service you do not only helps the needs of God's people, it also brings many more thanks to God. It is a proof of your faith. Many people will praise God because you obey the Good News...and because you freely share with them and with all others." II Corinthians 9: 12-13 (New Century Version)

Today we went to helped build a fence around this land where a school was. When we got there we saw a group of little kids and a teacher. Most of them were preschool age, and they were super adorable. Their teacher was having them quote the days of the week, months of the year, and body parts. It was too cute. Okay, I have to take a break from writing about this and write about some stuff we just talked about during devotions.

Tonight's devotions were incredible. The Spirit of the Living God came down on all of us. I felt him so powerfully for the first time in a long time. The night before we left I was so upset and discouraged because I went to church and everyone around me was praying, some were crying, and they all seemed so in touch with God and I didn't feel a thing. Lately nothing about God has made me emotional, or able to feel anything. I have been feeling pretty numb and pretty empty and totally void of God's presence in my life. I was concerned that feeling would follow me to Africa and that is not what is happening.

God has touched my heart in many different ways, many different times, and for that I am grateful. Today in devotions Joe asked us how we have seen Jesus since we've been here. Everyone was talking about the Swazis and those who are here leading the way, like Andy and Amy, the Luke Commission, the HIV/AIDS Task Force, the leaders of the schools, etc. We also talked about how we have seen Jesus in everyone on the team, and even in ourselves, working in our lives, and hearts. One important aspect I think I see with the Swazis is their motives. They all have such pure hearts and a willingness to help and serve where they are needed. I think a lot of times in the States we do things out of the wrong motives, like beefing up college applications, or job applications. Community service is done so we get the glory, not in order for God to be glorified. We want people to look at us and think, "My, what a great servant for the Lord...what a great heart--what a great Christian." The people in Swaziland see the need of their fellow man and are compelled out of love for them, and for God to do what they can to help. They don't care what they look like, or about making a name for themselves, or building up a good reputation in their community. These people are following the basics of the Gospel. Love God. Love People. this is God's command for all of us. I get too caught up in living the day to day life, and doing my own thing. I guess my question for this trip is "What can I do to integrate serving God more in my every day life? What does serving God look like over the summer when I am working and hanging our with friends? What does serving God look like at my family reunion?" I don't mean just "being a Christian". I mean what does SERVING look like? When I am away from this environment, and around people who are all Christians, serving God by day, and talking about his work at night. When I am away from this, how will  I continue to live my faith out loud to show Christ's love for those around me? What does serving God look like every day at MVNU while I am going to classes and being around my friends? These are questions I have been pondering.

Tonight during devotions Joe got really serious about the Holy Spirit filling us. I've heard many, many messages about the Holy Spirit. But tonight Joe put it to us in such a powerful way. He pulled out a bunch of Greek words which I don't remember. But he said God's desire is to fill each of us with the Spirit, and when we were willing for this to happen, then we become martyrs for Christ. Once we are filled with the Hold Spirit, then we are giving our lives to Christ, we are saying its okay if I die to spread the Gospel. We have to be willing to give our life. Willing to say, "I'm okay with dying." In History and Faith this past semester I learned that all of the 11 remaining disciples besides John were martyrs. (John died of old age) Its not about just risking our earthly possessions, or our desires, or those we love most, but our very lives, our very being just to serve him. I had never connected the filling of the Holy Spirit with martyrdom, and had never really considered the possibility that I could die for the sake of Christ. Joe's question really made me think about where I'm willing to go in Christ's name.  I feel called to teach in an inner city school. I'm scared to death. I don't want to teach there. I would much rather go to a nice suburban school and teach with smart boards and Mac computers children from good families who are college-bound. That would be easy. But I have such a burden on my heart for the broken ones. The kids from the abusive homes, homes plagued with alcohol and drug addiction. I want to bring Christ to those kids. I want to give them hope, and a chance to reach their full potential. Its not a place that is easy to go. But I want to make a difference. I want to take a risk for the gospel. I want the Holy Spirit to fill my heart in such a way that dying for Him is not a fear, but a privelege. I don't want to go back to the U.S. the same. I want to make a change. I want to serve more people. I want to have better attitudes. God has stretched me on this trip. He has helped me rely on Him and those around me, instead of the comfort of my family, even though I miss them and am getting anxious to go home. He has enabled me to find the positive about everything, and to let things roll off my back more easily, and not get to me. He has helped me to not complain or gossip about others on the trip. And God has given me grace to not be jealous or get a bad attitude. I still have struggles, but I am working through them.

God has shown me my value to His kingdom, and the value of the call to teach He has placed on my life, to say He has control, not me.  I don't need to lead my own life. Those are the things God has taught my heart over the last week.

During dinner tonight I talked to Marg from the Canada team. She is here with her son, Campbell, who is only 16, and her daughter, Stacy, who is only a couple years older than us. They brought along their friend, Niri, who is super sweet. They are working on a huge project Campbell has had a vision for since '08 when they were here (in Swaziland) before. He wanted to put a library in aq school. Well,

they ended up getting 12,000 books which they are now placing in 40 schools. So they have been here while we have, and God's been doing cool things in their lives, and using them to bring these books to the children of Africa. So I was talking to Marg about their project, and our trips. She asked me my favorite thing so far, and I said the task force. I just really enjoyed visiting people who no one usually sees, and being able to give them something to help their situation. As we were talking it dawned on me, and I shared with her that I'm so glad I know ways I can help now. Before I feel I only had a tiny piece of the puzzle, but now I can fit it into the big picture. Like the eyeglasses--its great to see how the Luke Commission uses the glasses to improve the quality of life for the Swazis. And now I know the SIFE team has need of sanitary pads to distribute during the hygiene presentations at the schools. Now I have names of organizations, and names and faces to go with projects that can be done. Now that I have been here  I can better see how to help. I feel I have a clearer understanding of the situation. Its not just some far-off place I'm dreaming of, or the Christian fairy tale everyone makes missions in Africa out to be. I've been here. I've seen the emergency. I've also seen the ways the people here are helping, and what I can do to help them. That's exciting to me.

Lastly, today I will get back to what we did today, which is where I started before we did devotions and I had a hundred thoughts to get out. Today, I, along with the other girls got to play with the preschoolers. We had a language barrier, which was difficult with such little ones, but we managed to love them through our actions. We brought them toys, like jump ropes, soft balls, bouncy balls, silly bands, stickers, coloring books, and play dough. It was fun to just play with them. I played with one little girl for a while, building blocks, and I played play dough with several of the kids.  We learned that most of the children were single-orphans, meaning one parent had passed away. Many were double-orphans. A lot of the kids lived with grandparents. They all had places to sleep, but they lived in sad situations. Most of them just needed to be loved. You could tell by the look in their eyes and the way they all pushed for attention. It was cool to see that connections could be made without language, since this was literally impossible with such a young age group. We are going back there tomorrow and I hope I can show them a glimpse of God's love. It was amazing to see the joy  of the kids as they sang praise songs, and great to see the heart of the teacher, and the caregivers who made all the kids lunch, provided by the church there. Just another example of Swazi love.

                                                           Until Then,
                                                          Holly Peffer

       

Assemblies in schools and more work with The Luke Commission

May 30, 2011

Today was a good day because we did an assembly at a school. We did a skit about Noah's ark, several students gave their testimonies (our MVNU and SNU students), and we sang a song in siSwati as well as several English kids' VBS songs. We taught the kids "The Hokie Pokie" and "Double Double This This." (a hand game). After the assembly we got to hang out with the kids a lot and play "Double This" and take pictures. We blew up balloon animals and left them with their headmaster to hand out.

When we were done, we headed over to Echo and Harry's house to help with the Luke Commission. I helped organize reading glasses and perscription glasses. It was fun because I got to hang out with Madie, Robbie, Katie, Diane, and Andrew from SNU. We separated the glasses churches bring in and send. Many of them are old and out of date. Some are too big to fit into their cases, and some are scratched up or just not in good condition. We had to separate the usable ones from the bad ones. We had a lot of fun laughing at all the ridiculous old 70's and 80's style glasses people had sent. We tried many of them on. It was a great bonding time.

For lunch today we had a traditional Swazi meal. We had mealy-meal, which is kind of like a more bland version of grits. It is a cheap staple food in Swaziland. Then we had a soy dish mixed with potatoes, carrots, and pieces of green beens. It was kind of like beef stew. Then a side dish was this mix of garden vegetables that tasted like the center of an egg roll. It was pretty good.

We walked up to the house of one of the lady's on the Luke Commission. She had kids, but they lived with her mom and she only saw them on the weekends. The house was a small concrete room with a bed in the center, and kitchen supplies on a small table against one wall. Her clothes were hanging on some nails on the walls. I spotted a tub in the floor by the kitchen stuff which has a cup of tootebrushes in it. The house had no electricity. This place was the woman's livlihood. This was everything she had. There were bathrooms nearby on a path. She gave up seeing her kids every day, and risked staying alone to work with the Luke Commission to help the people of Swaziland. She gave up everything to help her country. To help those infected with HIV/AIDS.


We have been dealing a lot in our devotions at night about giving our lives for the cause of Christ. Joe keeps posing the question, "What will you risk for the gospel?" This is the question he asked yesterday in his message at church. I thought to myself as I saw where this woman was living, the sacrifice she is making for Christ. Katelyn (a student from SNU) verbalized this thought. What can I do for the cause of Christ? What does surrendering completely to God look like in my life? What is he asking of me? I need to go after the answer to this question. Not what can God do for me? or how to make sure I am doing God's will so my life goes better, but what does God want to do with my life? How does he want to use me to prosper his kingdom? I hope I never stop asking this question.

Today after we helped the Luke Commission we hung around the VanderWal's house (Echo and Harry) and a bunch of us (not including me) played soccer. I watched. Me and Diane had a great time talking and watching and cheering for everyone. The two of us along with Kelsie sang old 90's songs and quoted youtube videos. We had a ball. A bunch of us played Ninja Tag and other games like that later on. We finally went inside for dinner, which was another delicious dish make of rice, and broccoli, and chicken. For dessert we had lemon cake which was super moist and to-die-for. I had vanilla ice cream. The ice cream in Swaziland is the best I've ever had. Also, Amy made us two different kinds of cookies today which were oh-so-good! I think everything is better in Africa. After dinner Claire and I sang worship songs acapella, which was therapy for me after the battle I had been having with my voice and such. I think everyone enjoyed the music.

In devotions tonight Joe had us do intercessory prayer for those we have met in Africa, as God laid it on our hearts. There are just so many people to pray for. The people of Swaziland and their desperate situation--obviously. Then there's SIFE, The Luke Commission, the church we went to yesterday who are building a new building. the drivers (the guys that have driven us around this whole time)-Mongi, Sponiso, and Ceizeway. Just prayer that these people will continue to do good work and will find strength in God to carry on their tasks. Also, the Task Force and the Nazarene Church in general. I don't ever want to forget to pray for my brothers and sisters of Swaziland. As I'm wrapping it up, I just have a couple more things to include.

  First of all--the African stars and sky in general is GORGEOUS.  I've never seen such a pretty sky in my life. God's creation is breathtaking. Also, while we were sorting through glasses today, I thought of my home church and how we've collected glasses for missions. I never knew what they did before this trip. I got to see first hand where the eyeglasses go. That was really cool for me. It also made me miss my church. I can't wait to get back and see everyone. I think that's all I have  for today. Today was a lot of laughs. I'm proud of myself for not complaining an for not letting things get to me that normally get me down. God's definitely been with me and helped me to have a good attitude. (except for yesterday evening).

Until Then,
Holly Peffer

Frustration Arises!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Okay, so, for the first time since I've been here I am feeling extremely frustrated and left out of the group. This whole time I have been feeling included and super happy, but tonight I just feel a little left out and frustrated with several things. I haven't spoken a word to my family since last Sunday. It wouldn't bother me except I told my family I would be able to skype them and talk to them via facebook. I haven't been able to talk to them at all, and won't be able to. My parents don't even know what time to come pick me up at the airport. I really want to tell them a few days in advance so they know how to plan. I'm getting discouraged not being able to talk to everyone. I feel like I've been here a super long time and I'm getting restless. We still have over a week left and I'm worn out all of a sudden. I'm ready to go home. I know I'm not really ready. It just feels like it.

Until Then,
Holly Peffer

* I ommitted part of this journal, because its a little personal and gets other people involved. But I would like to summarize a bit of what I was going through at this point that was frustrating beyond the lack of contact with family that I wrote about. On this trip, I had a battle with myself about my vocal ability. Singing has always been a very, very important part of my life. For as long as I can remember, I have enjoyed singing as a means of worshipping God. But, if you are a singer, or a musician of any sort, you know the competition and jealousy that can be a big part of it. Even if you are using your musical ability for the right reasons, your feelings can still get hurt. Church music is the worst sometimes. There are always sort of these secret battles of who is the best choir director, pianist, organist, guitar player, drummer,  sound guy, vocalist...blah blah blah...its petty and annoying, but its there. No need to ignore the white elephant in the room. Church music politics is a sensitive subject. I sing in church. My dad has done a lot of music in churches over the years. I know. So, yes, I have been guilty of this jealousy and hurt over vocal ability. Its kind of a weak point I'd say for me, and I'd dare say most people who do music. (I know there are some individuals who are completely pure and none of this jealousy is obvious to them, I realize this). Anyway, the point is, I've always been a little um...jealous over my vocals, and sensitive in this area. College has really sort of humbled me. Not that I thought I was awesome, but college music has made me feel like I am not any good at all. Insecure over my musical ability. I haven't really used my voice in the ways I always use it in church because I have felt a little struck down. So you could say this has been an ongoing struggle this school year--feeling musically worthy. I started feeling a little of this in Swaziland. Like I wasn't a worthy musician. Like my talent was unwanted on the trip. I won't go into details, but that was the other issue that was going on when I wrote this blog. To see how God worked in this situation, keep reading!